You Know You're From Miami...

I stole this off of facebook (another Miamism)

You know you're from Miami when...

~you call flip-flops chancletas

~you wear chancletas EVERYWHERE

~you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go

~the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light

~you get mad if the DJ doesn't play salsa, meringue, bachata, or reggaeton at a party

~you buy your party food at Blue Sky

~you refer to your hometown as 305 or MIA

~you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish

~you know you can't really get anywhere without speaking Spanish

~you only go to a Marlins, Heat, or Dolphins game if they're on a winning streak

~you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in case

~you hope for a hurricane to come so you don't have to go to work/school

~you know only tourists go clubbing on South Beach

~you spend your summer days inside cuz it's hot as hell outside...literally

~you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise

~you anymore you want to move out of Miami some day, but you say you'll come back

~you know never to buy mangoes or avocados at a grocery store cuz u grow them in your backyard

~you go to a store/business and the manager tells you "hablas espanol?" cuz they barely can ~speak english

~you know your pastelitos

~you know that Argentineans make the best steak for the best prices

~you bump into Trick Daddy everywhere

~you know to be out of Downtown by 6 pm

~you have to wait 4 hours for a bus to come that's supposed to come by ever y 30 minutes

~it's 60 degrees outside and you wear a sweater, a jacket, gloves, a scarf, a hat, and boots

~you know the only time there's no traffic on the Palmetto is from 3-4am

~you know at least one person who has more than six people living in their houses

~your neighbor keeps chickens and goats in their back yard, and you're always worried you'll find one of them dead on your doorstep

~you know the only hills are trash hills

~the only rivers you've seen are the Miami River and canals

~you know any woman walking around after dark on Flagler or Biscayne is a prostitute

~you own a guayabera or know what one is

~you take your car to go one block down the street

~you buy mamoncillos & limes while waiting in traffic

~a light lunch consists of chicharrones and malta Hatuey

~you see a sushi bar on every corner

~you get your chicken from Pollo Tropical

~your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some guy's trunk in Hialeah ~you see girls wearing clubbing clothes to go to 7-11

~there's a navarro on every corner

~You have to put on the invitations "starts at 2:30pm " when the event really starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time.

For the record:

The above is ALL TRUE.

I am wearing my chanceltas right now and am going to go pack Alberto's lunch of left over Pollo Tropical.

We have a birthday party -- which actually starts on the invitation time -- and am planning on having Alberto wear a guayabera. But it's kind of chilly outside -- mid 70's s I might have to have him wear long pants and a long-sleeve shirt. Of course, I have a jacket in the diaperbag just in case the temperature drops to the low 70's. But since it is highly unlikely to drop, I have lighter clothes for him too.