Fit For Friday

I played hookie yesterday. I could have gone to the office; I could have worked from home; I could have taken Alberto to daycare. But, I didn't. Alberto and I met up with Grecy, Ashley and Baby Darwin at Cool-de-sac and had a playdate!

I've come to realize that this was a much needed break. Since Alberto came home, I have been trying to juggle, attachment, adaptation, transition, sleep deprivation, poor diet -- and that's just me. I've also had to deal with those issues as Alberto has experienced them. Add to that, having work dropped off as I was unloading my suitcases. And, having allowed myself to be defined by the process for a good part of the last 4 months of the adoption, I was exhausted and emotionally depleated. And, I'm a single mom who didn't have much physical support for the first month. So picture this...I'm wearing Alberto in the Ergo baby while going to the bathroom, and doing some sort of work related thing, all at the same time. Maybe, you don't need the visual of me going to the bathroom wearing the Ergo -- but that was the only way I could do it while he was awake for a few weeks.

It was rough. I don't regret it. I don't wish it away. It was boot camp and it forced us both to learn how to deal with one another -- mainly, forced me to get with the program. Unfortunately, my Diet Pepsi addiction went to a new found high --as though that could even be possible. At the end of the day, my focus was Alberto, taking care of him, making sure that he was getting the appropriate sleep (which was an issue), food (which was an issue), developmental stimulus (which was a slight issue) and mommy time (which was divided between him and work at the same time). I get tired just thinking about it.

For some reason or other, I felt as though I needed to do everything and do everything to a level of excellence that maybe no one could reach. But I set a high bar and I was going to reach it. Granted, I would consider a day successful if I had showered -- even if it meant dragging my limp body into the bathroom and having water run over it right before midnight. So as I tried to be Wonder Woman with her Invisible Jet and perfect body in that leotard with perfect hair and able to kungfu kick my way through difficult times or simply lasso the bad guys without breaking a sweat...reality hit. I'm not Wonder Woman, I don't fly an invisible plane or any plane for that matter. I don't have a perfect body in a leotard or in sweats. My hair is only perfect after my hairdressers fix it. And if I tried to kungfu anything I might pull a muscle. And yes, I break a sweat just thinking about all of this.

So, after being asked if I was happy to be a mom, I came to the ephiphany that I needed to enjoy myself more as a mom; really enjoy myself. So, I took the day off and went to play with Alberto and friends. Then, Alberto and I went to the park. I just relaxed and enjoyed a fresh breezy day with my cute and wonderful little son. And life was good!

Regarding the diet: well, I finally got the book so I'm gonna read it. Also, I have reduced my Diet Pepsi consumption in half and SURPRISINGLY, I feel so much more energized and good drinking tea and water versus the massive consumptions of DP. I'm a little disappointed as I had hoped I could somehow rationalize my need to keep the DP in my life. My food portions have been reduced to the size of a salad plate and I eat small meals several times during the day. I really don't think I've lost much weight. But I will comment that my scrub pants are fitting much looser (considering that they were almost busting at the seams a few months ago -- this is a very good thing).

Look, I can feed myself (the battery went dead and no audio)

Alberto sliding. He associates "go" with "Go Diego Go" .