Crazy Mama Syndrome

I work for a pediatric sub-specialist. Basically, we deal with mothers each and every day. I would say that the majority are "normal"; to varying degress. And then you have the extremes. Those,I, affectionately, refer to as High Maintenance Moms (others refer to them as Crazy Moms).

What constitutes a crazy mom? Well, one that has probably done all the research known to human kind prior to going to the doctor's office. Who, obviously, knows more than the doctor and simply needs the confirmation by an expert. Granted, if you agree with the research that the mother has done -- she is disappointed because she came to the expert to learn something she didn't know. If you disagree with the mom's diagnosis, well, the doctor is just wrong. All of which is followed by a nasty letter. And then when you talk to them about their concerns, they are pacified.

Another version of the "high maintenance mom" is again someone who has done her research and is ready to take action. If you aren't taking action at her speed, she is sort of frustrated. These moms also "know" a lot -- again research. And most of them have "talked to" a friend who is a "doctor". Granted, the doctor might be a vet. But hey, child, dog, what's the difference?

When I went on my first visit trip, Alberto had an erruption that covered about 90% of his body. Not a big deal for me. I know how to handle this. Huge care package sent to the foster mom with clear instructions. Sent my dad to the pharmacy and got the creams. This is every day stuff for me. Now, the congested nose was not something that I really knew how to handle -- other than saline spray and a nasal aspirator.

So when I got home, guess what? I went to "talk" to my friends who are "doctors". Granted, they are real doctors and all have pediatric training. And well one of them, actually, had the audacity to say to me, "oh GREAT! You're becoming one of those crazy moms". I took offense!

(New found appreciation for crazy moms!!).

Thanks to my craziness, Alberto's skin was fine when I went to visit him a few weeks later. The foster mom was impressed at the "medicine" in the United States. Over the Counter, CereVe cream, works wonders on sensitive skin and eczema. No magic. Just a trick of the trade.

When Alberto came home... Crazy Mama Syndrome took on a whole new meaning. I went to one pediatrician, who is a friend of the family, who did not like that Alberto was so skinny and had dropped a pound since his last doctor's visit. Great! That was all I had to hear. I was on a mission to get him to gain weight.

Need to set the background for this. I had just gotten home from Guatemala. I had been an insane PGN stalker who was left emotionally depleated from the process, work had depleated whatever else was left; I was sleep deprived and adjusting to my new role as mother. I was caring for a child that was "adjusting" and having some sleep issues at night and who then decided he didn't really want to eat.

All I could think of was getting him to eat. I couldn't let my little baby get sick. Fear creeps into your mind and heart. You worry like you've never worried before. You become obsessed with every morsel and calorie they put in their bodies as you wonder if they are going to be okay.

He lost weight. Crazy Mama Syndrome was kicked into a higher gear. And it paid off. He started eating, gaining weight and sleeping. Most of my family thought I was a bit extreme and neurotic. But I didn't care what they thought. I had to take care of my baby. I was a mother bear protecting her young -- and I was fierce.

All is well. Everything is fine. Today, we go to our 15 months visit. He grew 2 inches in the past 3 months, and lost a pound. My heart sank. And then the pediatrician -- who has to be the most laid back person I've ever met in my entire life (very different from a high strung crazy mama) said, "I'm sending you to Dr. Muinos". I know Dr. Muinos. He's the chief of pediatric gastroenterology. The look of shock and panic came across my face. My heart was pounding. The thoughts, confusion, what? All I could hear come out of her mouth was, "he's not gaining weight we need to send him to Muinos. He's probably fine. But let's see what Muinos says."

Okay, so I am really trying to keep my sanity here and not go into HIGH gear crazy mama. Balance, sanity, where are you? I need a healthy dose of that.

Fortunately, I am connected in the pediatric world. Tomorrow, Dr. Muinos' wife will give me the appointment. Then, I have to wait for my HMO to deliver the referral. I wonder if they will do a courtesy visit for me. They're nice. I helped them out with some office stuff in the past.

Then I started wondering... was I being turfed out because my pediatrician thinks I am a high maintenance mom? Could be. Honestly, I hope that is what it is.