29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)
As a Latina woman and the adoptive mother of a child born in Guatemala, I find the term "Guat-Tot" offensive. Those who toss this phrase either do so because it's "cute", "an easy rhyme", "someone else coined it.", or "a term of endearment", and they think that those people who think it's offensive should just get over it, get a life, and chill out.
I am not sure how the term Guat-Tot came about. However, there was a part of me that thought, "oh that is clever" and another part of me that thought, "wait a second? huh? That just rubs me the wrong way." Why? Because no one in Guatemala would ever refer to their toddler as a Guat-Tot. The only ones who do are Americans who have adopted children from
Guatemala, and these children happen to be American citizens with a Guatemalan heritage.
Since English is my second language, perhaps I've never fully grasped what a term of endearment is. I always thought that terms of endearment were "sweetheart", "sweetie", "shunkums", "baby", "honey", "darling", and "muffin". You know all those sugar-coated nicey nicey things someone who loves you tells you with that goofy voice and smile on their face.
Yet today, we call our children "Guat-Tots", "Little Monsters", "Divas", "Brats", "Pains in the RearEnds", "Monkey", "Terror", and "Ms. 'Tude". And parents who use these labels justify them as terms of endearment.
When I read Ephesians 4:29, and it is the Bible, not Ana, saying to not use Abusive language (in other translations it uses unwholesome) but to use words that are good and helpful and an encouragement to those who hear them, I ask myself, is calling my child A Guat-Tot, monster, monkey, diva, brat an encouragement? Is there anything positive about that? Is this something that my child will say to me later in life on how it made him feel great about himself or will he say it made him feel not so good?
Sadly in a country such as ours where we have so many liberties, we have lost the sensibility and sensitivity that comes with the responsibility of the words we use. I want my words to build my son up; to be edifying and an encouragement.
If you truly in your heart believe that referring to your child as a Guat-Tot, Monster, Diva, and Terrors is "okay", then so be it; I can't change the world. But those who continue to use the term can now do so with the knowledge of it's offensiveness.
8 comments:
Nice post, Ana! I agree. Thanks for sharing!
Ana, I really appreciated your post. I have had a hard time putting my finger on what bothers me the most about these terms some parents use...you worded my thoughts perfectly! Thank you!!
Yeah, I don't like the term either. I always thought it sounded too much like "Tator Tot" and Kate certainly is not either one. Alberto is getting SO big in his pictures!
I couldn't agree more! I never thought to call our son Guat-tot. I enjoyed stopping by your blog. How old is your son. He is so handsome!! Do you mind if I add your blog to my list of ones I follow?....Lynda
Ana, I am not a blogger as per say but after a friend told me of your latest post I had to see it for myself and felt the need to comment. I am the proud father of the two greatest Guat-tots in the world, and my wife and I have used these terms of endearment and others as stated in your post numerous times. I appreciate your need to quote the Apostle Paul as he addressed to the church at Ephesus, but please do not take his words out of context. I noticed that you read and quote the NLT (which by the way is a very good translation) I think that you need to look at the exact same verse in the NKJV (Scholars have stated that the KJV & NKJV are the closest translations to the original text) it reads as follows; 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. Paul was such a powerful and wonderful writer, I think we can all agree on that point. If you break the verse down you need to start with "corrupt word", the word "corrupt" refers to that which is foul or rotten, such as spoiled fruit or putrid meat. Foul language should never pass a Christian's lips, because it is totally out of character with his new life in Christ. Then we need to go onto "Good for necessary edification", The Christian's speech should be instructive, encouraging, uplifting (even when it must be corrective), and suited for the moment. The last piece we can define is "Grace to the hearers", because believers have been saved by grace and kept by grace, they should live and speak with grace. Our Lord Jesus Christ set the standard(Luke 4:22), I do not believe that Paul (when he spoke to the Ephesians) was saying it was wrong to call our children Guat-tots, little monkeys or other nick-names as long as they are done out of love and are not done out of anger towards our children.
Blessings to you and your family,
Your Brother in Christ,
Ray
Ana,
I love to read your thoughts, I don't know you but I see you as brave women who loves the Lord.
I was disturbed by your post. I have never used the term Guat Tot, brat, Ms Tude. I have however called my youngest bio son a monkey as he can out climb any of my children. He can also be quite funny. I have said it when I hug him and give him kisses. I haven't used it in awhile but I have used it.
I was very unsettled by you using the Lord to justify being offended. While we can be offended it is often when we are protecting self. However the word teaches us to die to self daily. If you see your brother or sister ere then lift them up in prayer.
This is your blog and you are entitled to share your opinions but taking everyone to task and using the Lord to justify it doesn't settle with me.
I have been lifting you in prayer.
In Him,
Lori
Hey Girl:
I honestly never knew the term "Guat-a-tot" was offensive.
I've never used it, because I think it's a little corny. But my social worker...adoptive mother of two beautiful Guatemalan children...used it to refer to my daughter. I didn't think anything of it. I sort of chuckled when I heard it because it was cute.
Another friend of mine recently became enraged when another child referred to her Guat daughter as being "too tan."
My 84 year old dad said the same thing in the most loving way the first time he met his new Guat granddaughter. :) He didn't mean anything by it. My Polish-fair skinned dad LOVES to be tan. He meant it as a compliment.
I suppose you need to consider the source sometimes. And the intent. And the context.
But if I knew it was truly offensive to someone, I would certianly refrain from using it in their presence. There is definitely scripture so support that: Romans 14 comes to mind.
Love you and your transparency...and passion. :)
Sandy
Proud Mommy to four gorgeous children...all uniquely crafted in God's image, no matter what color their skin!
Ana, setting the Biblical interpretation debate aside, you still made excellent points. I am sure some parents use the term lovingly but I still wonder why parents do not use their children's actual names to refer to their Guatemalan-adopted children. I wonder how they feel about the term "Gringui-tot"? What if they came to Guatemala to live and people insisted on calling them "gringos"?
Anyway, I will leave the debate over scripture to those who know, just wanted to reiterate than even without Paul's aid you made an excellent point.
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