Hunger Strike.

For those who don't know, today marks day 8 of the hunger strike where Norma Cruz, mothers of kidnapped children and their supporters are on the steps of the courthouse pleading that there be justice for these families.

This is something that has divided the adoption community. If you support Norma Cruz and the mothers, you are anti-adoption. If you support the adoptive family and their refusal to cooperate, you are pro-human trafficking. Oh, it's so complex and divisive. Some have even argued that God is okay with all of this.

And for the most part, I've been busying myself these days either with taking care of Alberto who was sick this weekend or follow up on what is happening with all of this.

I know that a lot of my friends would rather not "get involved" because this is icky. But I just urge you to think about and pray about it. The day will come when our kids are old enough and will do a google search and read up on all of this. It might be a good idea to know what and how we think about it.

This was my latest post on the Main Page of Guatadopt.com

"Lisa, I apologize if I’ve offended you or somehow been inappropriate as that is sincerely not my intention.

When I think of what the families of these girls are going through, my instant response is: “I would die”. “I would rather have my heart cut out with a plastic knife.” Or I will say something like, “This has got to be the worst nightmare for any adoptive parent.” The focus if you will is on “ME” and how I would feel.

Of course since I consider myself enlightened I certainly have to make this about someone other than me because if not I become selfish and egotistical so I then proceed to rationalize why my son is better off with me. He’s been home for over a year. I’ve known him longer than his biological mother. He has allergies that left untreated could be detrimental to his health so I need to take care of him. He is very attached to ME and altering this set up would cause him damage. I am the only mom he knows, today. Because when I picked him up from Guatemala, his foster mom was the only mom he knew and I didn’t seem to have a problem with tearing him away from that life. But I justify it and rationalize that he is better off with me.

Then I realize that I am thinking of myself again….

When I think of the first mothers and the lengths that they have gone through, I consider them to be extremely courageous and having a lot more backbone and fortitude than I do. I admire their resolve and determination and I wonder if I would be so valiant against so much opposition. Oh, there we go again it being about me. But what I do see is their love for their children and their determination. We should all be so fortunate to have mothers that will climb every mountain and pound on every door, and put their lives on the line for their kids.

But it’s not about them either.

I’ve been listening to different adult adoptees to gain insight so that I can be a better mom to my son. And with what I’ve been listening to and applying it to this scenario, I feel that the children are the greatest victims in all of this and the ones that will be hurt the most in the long run. And they would not be very happy with the decisions or lack of cooperation by the adoptive families.

These girls, if they remain in the United States, are living under the false assumption that their mother’s gave them up. Many times adopted children create fantasies of their first families as well as dealing with the rejection of their mother. These girls would live with that even though it was not true – actually quite the opposite.

Eventually, in the era of information that we live in and google being so pervasive, these girls will learn about all of this and then what? How will the parents explain how they did nothing? How will they look into the eyes of these children and explain why they thought they did the right thing? How will they explain away the loss of identity, the loss of country, the loss of family, the loss of their birthright? How will they explain away that their parents did nothing while these women starved themselves and pleaded?

At the end of the day, it’s not about how the adoptive family must feel. It’s not about the women who are fasting and praying or as some would say having a hunger strike. It’s about the children and the bigger picture.

I am not sure that bringing in a priest, rabbi or a pastor is the answer. We all surround ourselves with people who tell us what we want to hear. Legally, these families might have no reason what so ever to cooperate or do anything. Legally, these families have a file that says they are the parents. Legally, these families hold all the cards. Morally? That’s another issue. I am just not sure what digging one’s heels in and fighting to the end, or ignoring these mother’s longing for their children is going to appeal to the children who are caught in the middle.

So for the children, my heart breaks. "