Growing Up

It happens faster than you imagine.

I knew this year was going to be a year of a lot of changes. I knew we had to deal with the ducky bath tub, the sleeping arrangements and the bottle. I braced myself for these transitions. I simply convinced myself that we needed to face these challenges head on.

One of the things I've learned from parenting is that whatever I thought about parenting and my parenting style before I became a parent went out the window. I liked having things planned out. I liked having a lot of order. I liked my house a certain way. I liked sleeping in. Structure is a very good thing.

Alberto's been home now for a little over a year and has challenged my parenting philosophies. Fortunately the core of my philosophies remain the same -- the desire to raise an emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy child that will become a productive member of society. How I get there is another story.

Early on, Alberto showed me that he wasn't too keen on the changes happening in his life. He expressed his stress and anxiety by not sleeping followed by not eating. Since sleep and eating are essential to my ultimate goal -- physically healthy child -- we had to address these issues. I learned that my plan to have him sleeping in his crib in his own room pretty soon after coming home went out the window as the pack-n-play became a fixture in my room.

The problem with this set up was simple. It was a logical and physical problem. A pack-n-play is only so big and children grow. And when you have a child that seems to do acrobatics while sleeping, a pack-n-play does not allow for much mobility. So I found myself awake several times a night when a tossing and turning Alberto would wake up to a cramped pack-n-play only to fall asleep easily in my bed.

I faced the challenge ahead of me of moving Alberto to his own bed. I really struggled with this because I was certain that if Alberto was difficult to transition this past year, he was destined to be difficult transition forever. And if Alberto had a difficult few days getting used to the bathtub sans the duck, I was convinced that he would have a very difficult time with the new sleeping arrangements. Okay, so he adjusted quickly to the big boy tub. Now, the challenge is getting him OUT of the tub!

But I was still worried. After all, this was his sleep. And he's always expressed his anxiety with his sleep. If he's stressed out or uncomfortable, he doesn't sleep. Translated into no one sleeps in my house. I knew I would have to bite the bullet because the pack-n-play was no longer cutting it -- translation: we weren't sleeping. So, we had to face and overcome this next hurdle in parenting.


The definition of separation anxiety as found in Websters is: "a form of anxiety experienced by a young child and caused by separation from a significant nurturant figure and typically a parent or from familiar surroundings".


If Alberto had anxiety about a duck in the tub, he was going to have anxiety about the bed and the room which would be a separation from a parent (I was going to be in my own room) and from a familiar surrounding. I found this to be perfectly acceptable, logical and simply something we would overcome together. I was mentally prepared for the challenge ahead.

And this is what happened:



And each night after that:

Moment of true confession: it has been a greater transition for me than for him. He has been sleeping in his bed every night for the past week. Even the few times he's woken up, he has wanted to stay in his bed. He likes for me to be there when he is falling asleep but then he's fine. He will come and get me if he wants milk or is ready to start the day.


Alberto has been sleeping very soundly and wonderfully. We've had a couple little incidents but for the most part, he has been very well rested.


Now I'm a different story. The first part of last week, I barely slept just in case he called out for me. And then the latter part of the week, I was so tired from not sleeping that I fell into deep sound sleep.


I do miss having him in my room but I am really appreciating getting some solid sleep; and I think he is too!