So many opinions...

People have so many opinions. Many times, the opinions or rather advice is generally unsolicited. Worse other times, you ask a simple question or put yourself out there to get, well, unsolicited condemnation.

Parenting is the single most complex and difficult job I've ever encountered. I face challenges left and right, and often times I am pushed to a new level of selflessness that I didn't know was possible. This is generally when I am SO exhausted yet, I find the strength to pull my limp body out of bed and flip my "on" button.

Most of the times, I am constantly re-evaluating my parenting style. Am I being too passive? Am I being too aggressive? Am I being too harsh? Am I being too much of a push-over? A lot of shouda, wouda, couda. Lots of second guessing. Lots of figuring this out on the fly. Lots of begging God for divine inspiration. Certainly doing my best, wanting the best for my son and always looking for ways to become a better mom, woman and person. So when opinions -- disguised as advice come, I listen...

Opinions come in many shapes and forms. So let's take a look at some of the opinions I get and I've seen my friends get...

1. What? He takes a bath in a ducky bath tub? Isn't he kind of big for that?

I must confess, I am transitioning Alberto out of the duck and into the big tub. Mostly because he no longer fits in the ducky. So, we are in the big boy tub, and he has not really liked it.

A friend gave me the tip to lay a towel on the bottom of the tub and that has really seemed to comfort him. I have no idea how long my bathtub will be lined with a towel. One thing at a time. I care more that he feels safe than racing to some goal. And for those who are germa-phobes -- I wash the towels daily so he has a clean towel.

2. What? He still sleeps in the pack-n-play IN YOUR ROOM? Um, it's time!.

Now, who is supposed to determine when it is time? A friend, acquaintance, family member or sometimes virtual strangers? And what really is the hurry to put him in his own room in a different bed?

It is the plan to transition him into his own room in the next few months. However, that is more due to the fact that he is getting long, and I am not sure how much more wiggle room he will have in his pack-n-play.

Now to those whose children have transitioned well into their own rooms already -- I think it's great. Each family is unique and transitions and adjusts at their unique rate.

3. What? OMG!! You have got to be kidding me? He drinks his milk/pediasure in a bottle?

Um, don't you know how terrible that is and how you are just damaging his teeth and putting him at risk for all sorts of ear infections and problems? My child stopped the bottle at 12 months and no looking back. I don't see what the problem is.

This one ALWAYS brings on the biggest and greatest opinions.

First I get, Pediasure? Why Pediasure? So I go into this long explanation as to what happened when I introduced him to milk and the diarrhea so the pediatrician (that I fired) concluded that he was lactose intolerant. He did fine on Pediasure so we just kept giving him that.

I learned last weekend that he is no longer or never was lactose intolerant. But he seems to only like vanilla flavored milk. So, I am working him off of Pediasure and onto his organic vanilla milk.

Second, I get, a bottle? That is usually met with a look and all the questions that those who have gotten the comments know so well.

For some reason, the bottle issue seems to strike up the greatest sense of insecurity that I know. Definitely, a mom who has their child on a bottle past 12 months is doing something wrong. Definitely, the other moms who have their children on sippy cups or straw cups drinking their milk are just better moms or have done something to has aided their children to be better adjusted and hence the smooth non-complicated transition. Definitely, it makes the mom who still gives her child a bottle feel the need to justify.

So I am going to justify the darn stupid bottle after 12 months!

1. My son drinks his milk out of a bottle after 12 months because he will not drink it any other way.

2. I refuse to engage in a power struggle over his milk consumption.

3. I am not going to force him to drink his milk in another form because someone says I have to do it at this very moment in time when my son isn't ready to do it.

4. I am not going to withhold milk or nutrition from my child in an attempt to get him hungry enough so he will have no other choice but to drink his milk from the new cup.

5. I am not going to take away a form of comfort from my son before he is ready.


We will give up the bottle when we are ready to give it up. Those who transitioned their child off the bottle by 12 months or as soon as possible -- good for you, I mean it! Those who haven't, good for you and it's OK.

Currently, my son is healthy and his teeth are fine.

My position is that I want to have this time with him. I like having him in my room. There, I said it. We both have our own space. At the same time, it's just nice to wake up to him. It's not going to last forever and before I know it, he will be in his big boy bed in his big boy room. So, I am going to appreciate the time I do have with him NOW.

I'm not in a hurry for my son to grow up and hit these parental expectations. Who is it that we are competing against?

My honest heart desire is to raise a good man so I really want him to feel safe, strong, and secure. I want him to know how to trust, to love, and to smile. I want him to be confident and resilient. I want him to approach life determined but to always maintain a gentle heart.

I always listen to other people's opinions because I don't think I have everything figured out. Still, I stand confident in knowing that my son will transition out of these "baby" things sooner rather than later and before I know it, he will be a grown man.