Before I can share my position on circumcision, I think you need to understand my frame of mine. Today was a REALLY rough day. It was more than a Calgon Take Me Away Day. It was a Calgon, Take me to a Beautiful Tropical Island While Hot Cabana Boy Fans me and His Twin Brother Steaming Cabana Boy holds the umbrella and I sip my ice cold Diet Pepsi after having had numerous deep tissue massages, facials, and other spa treatments. Wow! What a Day!!
Just so you can tell I'm not exaggerating too much....
1. I woke up to notice that Alberto's right eye was pink. I wasn't going to jump to conclusions of Pink Eye (maybe I was in Denial) because it wasn't oozing, weeping or itching. It was just a little pink. No swelling, nothing. Just a little pink. Looked irritated like maybe he got something in it. Maybe, allergies as he did have a runny nose and a little cough.
2. A pink eye means, I put eye drops in his eye. Anyone who has put eye drops in the eye of a toddler understands that it requires the strength of Superman, with the gentleness of a delicate flower, with the contortion ability of a Cirque De Soleil artist. I did all of that before 8:00am!
3. Double packed the diaper bag just in case I got the phone call from the school and prayed that my mom would be inclined to watch him -- I can't take time off for another 3 weeks as our manager is on vacation and I have to resume my leadership position (I enjoyed not having to "really" care and be that involved with some of the day to day operations for a couple years!!).
4. Before I pulled my car in the parking lot, I got the phone call. So I called my mom. She agreed. Of course, I got the necessary editorial: "Yes, I will go; do I really have a choice?" Nice Ma! Whatever, not going to worry about that. I have enough work to keep me busy for the next week and I must focus.
5. I get in the office to learn that some of the staff is annoyed because I actually held them responsible and accountable for some mistakes on their part. So I addressed it with them. Let's just say that I can feel the stress in my neck just thinking about it. Argh!!!
6. My mom showed up at the office with Alberto to pick up some papers. And she stayed at the office with him for over an hour. This was stressful because I really needed to get work done. If I didn't really need to get work done, I would have picked him up and taken care of him myself. The fact that I called her was because I NEEDED THE SUPPORT! She got offended that I was annoyed.
7. The pile of work I had to do is in a huge duffle bag next to me at yes, 9:00PM that I must work on tonight.
8. And to make matters absolutely worse, I have a pimple on my chin. Stress! Argh!!!
So while I was waiting for some things to process, I checked my emails and a friend mentioned something about circumcision. This was my response.... This might be a little PG-13.
I took a poll here at work. There are only 2 moms that have their sons circumscised. The rest are not. My friends are also split down the middle. But I live in a really large Latin community and most of the new immigrants aren't circumscised. Cubans -- the older ones that came in the 60's are (for the most part) and do circumcise their kids. But the more recent immigrants don't. (now I should clarify that the children of the Cubans that came in the 60's and this is a generalization from my own personal experience).
Guys that aren't say that sex is better for them. Guys who are say that sex is better for them. I have no idea how they would know if it was "better" because they didn't have sex as a baby.
The ones that aren't now, say it's part of their manhood. The guys that are have a little bit more of a hangup on how the guys who aren't look. The ones who aren't seem to be more relaxed with how they look and how the others look. But the ones that are, seem to have more of an opinion. I guess the ones that aren't, can chose to be but the ones that are, don't have a choice to change.
If I have to do it...then I will. If not, I'm not going to stress it. I'm too stressed out at this very moment with my mom and pink eye and what on earth I am going to do tomorrow if his eye isn't clear...Argh!!!
Seriously, if you do go forward with doing it, make sure you go to a pediatric urologist or a urologist who has had a lot of experience. This is not a surgery you want botched. And it does happen. Remember, I've heard the stories and they would freak you out. So that is why having someone who does them regularly is really important. Generally the post op, as I've heard, is pretty uneventful and the kids are running around quickly. So, don't let that worry you.
It really is a personal decision. I don't think that there is a right or wrong way to go. I don't think your son would be upset one way or another because I think on some level that it just becomes one of those things that just "is". But I don't have a penis and have never been circumcised or have the option to do it so I wouldn't know.
My brother would tell you to do it right now and my friends husband would tell you absolutely not. If Alberto had arrived in the States before 6 months, I would have had it done in the office with local anesthesia. Thinking about it, that would almost seem barbaric! But anyhow, I wouldn't have "thought" about it. But since he came home later, I've had to "think" about it and have opted to hold off.
I will also tell you that even though Alberto's eye is pink, he has been such a wonderful little boy -- especially today! A part of me wished I wouldn't have had to work today and could have just hung out with him. We had some fun when I got home from work. He is pretty amazing!
Now praying that eye clears up. And now I must get to work....
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
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11 comments:
We had our little ones circumcized, but for the life of me I don't know what the big deal is. If I were simply looking at it from a necessity standpoint, I never would have put my boys through it. Daddy insisted.
And being the submissive wife that I am...
I'm just sayin'
~Sandy
"It really is a personal decision."
That's absolutely right, but the person making the decision should be the person whose equipment it is. Doing it to a newborn is the worst possible time. Circumcision of a teenager or adult is safer, hurts less, and the owner of the tackle gets to decide if and how they want it done. Almost no intact men actually choose to be circumcised though, and some of the ones that do regret it. That's kind of a clue that we shouldn't be doing it to babies.
"This is not a surgery you want botched."
The record payout for a botched circumcision is $22.8 million. It was said at the time that the victim "will never be able to function sexually as a normal male and will require extensive reconstructive surgery and psychological counseling as well as lifelong urological care and treatment by infectious disease specialists."
You might also want to check out the following:
Canadian Paediatric Society
"Recommendation: Circumcision of newborns should not be routinely performed."
http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/pregnancy&babies/circumcision.htm
"Circumcision is a 'non-therapeutic' procedure, which means it is not medically necessary."
"After reviewing the scientific evidence for and against circumcision, the CPS does not recommend routine circumcision for newborn boys. Many paediatricians no longer perform circumcisions.
RACP Policy Statement on Circumcision
"After extensive review of the literature the Royal Australasian College of Physicians reaffirms that there is no medical indication for routine neonatal circumcision."
(those last nine words are in bold on their website, and almost all the men responsible for this statement will be circumcised themselves, as the male circumcision rate in Australia in 1950 was about 90%. "Routine" circumcision is now *banned* in public hospitals in Australia in all states except one.)
British Medical Association: The law and ethics of male circumcision - guidance for doctors
"to circumcise for therapeutic reasons where medical research has shown other techniques to be at least as effective and less invasive would be unethical and inappropriate."
National Health Service (UK)
"Many people have strong views about whether circumcision should be carried out or not. It is not routinely performed in the UK because there is no clear clinical evidence to suggest it has any medical benefit."
See also:
Canadian Children's Rights Council
"It is the position of the Canadian Children's Rights Council that "circumcision" of male or female children is genital mutilation of children.
Drops in male circumcision:
USA: from 90% to 57%
Canada: from 47% to 14%
UK: from 35% to about 5% (less than 1% among non-Muslims)
Australia: 90% to 12.6% ("routine" circumcision has recently been *banned* in public hospitals in all states except one, so the rate will now be a lot lower)
New Zealand: 95% to below 3% (mostly Samoans and Tongans)
South America and Europe: never above 5%
It's worth remembering that we wouldn't even be having this discussion if it weren't for the fact that 19th century doctors thought that :
a) masturbation caused various physical and mental problems (including epilepsy, convulsions, paralysis, tuberculosis etc), and
b) circumcision stopped masturbation.
Both of those sound ridiculous today I know, but if you don't believe me, then check out this link:
A Short History of Circumcision in North America In the Physicians' Own Words
Over a hundred years later, circumcised men keep looking for new ways to defend the practice.
Let your guy stay all boy and keep his foreskin. He will thank you later! I have 3 intact, uncut sons now ages 25, 22, and 11 who are very content with all their parts. And as you know circumcision is not known in your child's birth culture.
Que lindo el niño que adoptaste, Felicidades!!!!
Please don't do it. He is perfect the way he is, just a few day back there was a boy who bled to death after his circumcision - and yes, ALL circumcisions at botch because the foreskin has to be ripped off the glans creating scarring for life :( Do you know that all boys foreskin are fused to the glans and won't fully retract until puberty? This is completely natural, so make sure you don't retract for cleaning. Here is a video that explains how to clean an intact boy. My husband was born here but he is Cuban and yes he is circumcised. We did a huge research about it and we decided NOT to do it to our baby boy. It's HIS body and if he wants to have that part of his penis cut off later in life he can have it done later in life but we couldn't do cosmetic surgery in our son. It IS a big deal, circumcision is genital mutilation no matter how you cut or how much :( Here is a video of the Circumcision Decision featuring Dr. Dean Edell where he speaks about the function of the foreskin, and other professionals comparing it to female genital mutilation, the rights of the child, the procedure, etc. Please, do more research about it - since I know you want to do the best for your new boy :)
Bendiciones y Buena Suerte!!!
There is no valid medical reason for circumcision--the only "reasons" left are culture and religion--neither are rational nor a justification for harming infants.
Circumcision is not HIS culture nor HIS religion, so why would YOUR culture and/or religion be an excuse for doing it..especially since scientific evidence clearly shows harm done by it.
Sandy, doesn't know what the big deal is--HERE is the BIG deal..
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2007/3/prweb512999.htm
Study Confirms Male Circumcision is Genital Mutilation
A new study in the British Journal of Urology International shows that men with normal, intact penises enjoy more sexual sensitivity — as much as four times more — than those who have been circumcised. Circumcising slices off more of a male's sensitivity than is normally present in all ten fingertips.
"Analysis of results showed the glans of the uncircumcised men had significantly lower thresholds than that of circumcised men (P = 0.040). There were also significant differences in pressure thresholds by location on the penis (p < 0.0001). The most sensitive location on the circumcised penis was the circumcision scar on the ventral surface. It was remarkable that five locations on the uncircumcised penis that are routinely removed at circumcision had lower pressure thresholds that the ventral scar of the circumcised penis."
When I was pregnant with my first son in 1987, our nurse-midwife urged us not to circumcise him. She had grown up in the UK, where routine infant circumcision stopped after WWII. She told us that circumcision was "barbaric"--a word that really got our attention. We decided to take her advice, even though I worried that our son might feel "different." He's now 21 and grateful we left him intact. Our younger son joined our family through adoption when he was 3 weeks old, and he came to us intact. He cannot understand why some parents do this to their babies. I'm grateful to that nurse-midwife who opened our eyes in 1987, and so are my sons!
I'm praying Alberto's eye clears up. It sucks when you get "the call". On the circumcision thing...I saw it when I was a nursing student and was appalled at how barbaric the procedure actually was. When I asked one of the pediatrician's if it hurt the babies he said "No. They are just crying because they are tied down." Ugh, I don't think so. That being said, it is a personal decision and sometimes a medical necessity in some circumstances.
We had Marco circumcised when he was 9 months old. It was a decision my husband insisted on and thankfully Marco did fine, is fine. His recovery was very quick. I really had no strong feelings either way. We did ALL the research and had it done at Children's Hospital of Pennsylvania by a pediatric urologist.
WOW Ana, if this is truly "on a lighter note" then I'd REALLY hate to get into a serious conversation with you. :)
I think this is another one of those cases where you do what you want to do. Our doc gave us some great resources to look at when we had "the discussion." I see that others posted some links for you to check out...do your research and hopefully your decision (yes or no) will become clearer for you.
Kris
I completely understand about the eye drops issue. I had the same problem w/ one of my kids just last week - except my child is 5 years old and it was still a huge struggle to get the drops in! A 5 minute power struggle for literally 2 seconds of drops! Ha!
I have one son who was circumsized at birth before we adopted him and one son who wasn't circumcsized at birth so we just left him that way. Either way, I think your son will be fine, both my boys are. But I guess if he's not having problems, why bother having the surgery (even if it is a minor one)?
Good luck w/ the pink eye. It usually clears up in a few days. The last night I gave my son the drops I did it while he was asleep and he didn't even wake up. It was much easier that way!
Please leave your little boy's penis alone. There is NO medial reason to circumcise and circumcision is harmful and removes important functional tissue. I urge you to get educated about this issue. Many sites are dedicated to educating parents. I will post a few following this comment. Please respect your son's genital integrity and let him have the decision over his genitals when he reaches consenting age.
www.cirp.org
www.nocirc.org
www.intactamerica.org
www.circumstitions.com
www.stopthecut.org
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